Why Marriage?

I first learned about the importance and correct use of councils when I was called to serve in the Bishopric of my ward almost 20 years ago. My earlier idea of councils where reduced to two meeting types; the “boss” style, were a “boss” explains and gives the orders with a passive board taking notes and shaking heads, and a “chaotic” style, were there is no rules nor orders, were everyone have the same power, and great liberty to think creatively, but were normally there is no consensus and decision-making. I learned that in church council’s decisions must be unanimous, that each voice of the council member is extremely important. Of course, all councils in church have an official that presides over the meeting (such as a Bishop, Stake President, Relief Society President, and so on) that have the responsibility of taking the last word, but, contrary to the “boss” style, this council president should preside by the principles established by the Lord: "the rights of the ...

         At the end of the 70’s, when I was about 7 or 8 years old, me and my same-age friends looked for every free-time opportunities to play together and enjoy all the freedom and happiness that resulted from it. I remember that at some point I was chosen to be the group “doctor”, and my function was to imitate all the functions that a real doctor has, or at least the way we imagined it was! We arrange a kind of doctor´s office where I received, with a fake stethoscope, my friends. During those child plays, one of my “girl-patient” undressed, probability the same way she used to do it in a real doctor´s office, and asked me to examine her.          The episode was so pure, without any kind of malice or bad intention that my memories are peaceful and instructional. The way I see this child-episode is probably the way Adam and Eve saw each other naked in Eden's Garden. It is not them a surprise that children, that are ...

It is particularly important that each one of us aspires and works for the dreams of life. When I was in my teenage years I developed a strong feeling about the immortality of family love, it was a kind of dream and a desire. It was unthinkable for me that the love that I had for my parents and siblings would end with death, I had a strong conviction, without knowing yet the Plan of Salvation, that family love had more power than death. Later, in my mid 20´s, when I had the blessing of receiving my first missionary lessons, and learn about the Plan of Salvation, and the eternal potential of families, I understood that all my feelings, dreams, and desires were actually part of God´s plan and love. Dr. Gottman explained that in marital life it is extremely important that partners share their dreams, that dreams are “hopes, aspirations, and wishes that are part of our identity and give purpose and meaning to your life” (Gottman, chapter 11), that our most profound dreams are normally...

         Consecration is the perfect form of service and commitment to God and others. Jesus gave the perfect example of consecration when he sacrificed His will in the Garden of Gethsemane: “Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt .” (Mark 14:36).          In chapter six of Goddard's book we were taught beautifully about the importance of living the law of consecration inside our homes. “The law of consecration is a celestial law, not an economic experiment” (Goddard, 93), “we are invited to dedicate our lives, our talents, … , and our weaknesses to the sacred enterprise of sanctifying our marriages and ultimately perfecting our souls” (Goddard, 98).          With this in context, and although I agree in great part with Dr. Gottman approach to resolve marital problems (chapter...

Dr. Goddard explained that “the natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others” (Goddard, 62). Modern societies that are becoming more and more secular, that do not accept God as the origin of truth for moral and ethical guidance, are finding through the relativity of their own way a “pernicious enemy” and “keeps each of us from connecting with others and from being taught by God” (Goddard, 63). Another inversion noted by Dr. Goddard is the fact that nowadays people are no longer accepting the concept that marital love requires sacrifices, people only married to satisfy their own personal needs, and are quick to leave the boat, just like a mouse when it feels like it is sinking. We cannot truly love others if we are not humble. Humility prepares our heart to repentance and change, and real and profound change comes only when we accept the atonement of Jesus Christ, which in turn changes our character. “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall blead thee by the hand, ...

     “Remind yourself that being helpful to each other will do far more for the strength and passion of your marriage than a two-week Bahamas gateway.” (Gottman) In this week’s readings, I learned that for couples to be more connected they need to turn toward each other by working in little life details, such as doing small activities together, and really enjoying being together in the most trivial tasks of everyday life. We tend to think that this little tedious every day-life events are not important to the welfare of the marriage, but Dr. Gottman´s research clearly attests that couples who remained married are those that turn to each other in mutual respect and cooperation. The author also identified two major hindrances that prevent couples from turning toward each other more efficiently. The first one is related with negative emotions or accumulated anger. It is very difficult to couples decode the partner´s clues or “bids” when we are hurt with unresolved past...